Sunday, June 24, 2012

The story the body tells us as it moves around in the consulting room


The other day  a psychotherapist friend shared a story about one of his patients who came for a session and she talked openly with him but while showed good insight, had peculiar behaviors, like straightening the tissue box on the table, moving her chair and then rearranging the position of the ottoman at her feet. Not only these but she then got up and rearranged the curtain, covering a different part of the window. The therapist observed these actions and when the patient shared that her loved ones have been complaining about her controlling nature, the therapist knew exactly how they felt. The patient seemed completely unaware that her actions of manipulating the environment to her taste and satisfaction seemed like a controlling behavior to others. The therapist shared this story with me as he was wondering what went wrong in this session as his patient did not return anymore after this visit. He concluded that in his comments he “fell for” this patient’s story of being controlling. He, too, just as the patient’s friends and family, assumed that the patient was controlling her environment, manipulating its pieces into a situation that suits her needs, according to her logic without questioning others’ needs and stance. He wondered with me, what would have been a more clinically correct response from his end in this situation. He thought the issue was deeper seated than a control issue but he did not realize it during the session and he felt he got sucked into the interplay this patient has been manifesting with so many other people in her life.
This story made me think of my homeopathic case taking technique, where I follow the person’s body language, not only the hand gestures but also the body’s physical manifestations of the person’s disharmony. I take this therapy patient was showing something with her gestures, actions. In a non-directive case taking method one would have wondered with curiosity what she was doing. Without the judgment that her actions were driven by and leading to a sense of control, one could ask her about the actual actions: “I noticed that you moved those pieces of furniture”… “Tell me more about your thinking and feelings around closing the curtains….” While the person might even come to the conclusion that they want it according to their control, I would even question that: “Please describe that need. What is that about?”
In all situations we tell the underlying story with our word choice and actions. And as I learned in the sensation method case taking, the most relevant part of the story telling is when the words don’t match the story being told. When the body language and actions and behaviors are peculiar. These are the most important times to be non-judgmental, and not only asking this from ourselves but also our patients: do not assume that you do an action because you have been told endless times by your relatives you were controlling. A patient might come to see us and say that their relatives demanded they seek therapy for their controlling behaviors and while the patient on the surface disagrees with these statements, they have internalized this understanding to the degree that they display and judge their own actions as controlling. Yes, if we are curious enough, we can find a gold mine of depth and new understanding beyond the doors that are opened up by simple actions like moving a tissue box in our office.

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